• January 23

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People on Ambien

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   This week in bizarre news, Fox News and the New York Post reported about an unidentified man that took Ambien, a sleep aid pill, and woke up engaged. The man confessed that after taking Ambien he apparently took the engagement ring out of his drawer and proposed to his girlfriend. He even switched his Facebook status to “engaged”. The next morning he had to have his girlfriend, or rather fiancee, explain the whole thing. He even confessed that he didn’t plan on proposing for another year or so. It does not say if the couple is still engaged or not, but my best wishes go to them.

 

   Another Ambien story comes from a college girl that was just trying to get enough sleep so that she could stay awake in her early morning classes. Unfortunately, the Ambien took its toll on her before she was even asleep. Her story goes as following: one night a bat got stuck in her bathroom right after taking the Ambien. She couldn’t leave the bat so she sensibly called the repair men to catch the bat. In her Ambien state she became fascinated with the sleek bat, so after the men left she decided to shave her head, eyebrows, arms, and legs. She wanted to be “sleek”. The next morning she woke up to the mess. At first she didn’t realize it was her hair until she fatefully looked into the mirror seeing her new hair-do, or rather lack of one.

 

   One college student took some Ambien and woke up 6 miles from the dorm that they live in. To their surprise they had a blue pitbull puppy sitting by their side. The person didn’t have their phone or anything they would need to get back, just a puppy to take home to their roomates.

 

   A man retold the story of his girlfriend who had taken Ambien and was brushing her teeth. He asked her what she was doing and why. Her response was “‘There’s a shark on this train that’s trying to kiss me, so I got to brush my teeth first.’” At least she was being thoughtful enough to make her breath smell better for the shark.

 

   After reading many, many Reddit stories about people taking Ambien, I don’t think I am going to be taking it any time soon. Though they are funny and some aren’t as extreme as waking up 6 miles from your living area, I’d rather not wake up with my head and eyebrows shaved. I definitely don’t want to dream about kissing a shark either.

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People on Ambien